Tomorrow's another day....

Well, It was exactally a week ago we said our final farewell to Mema. I still can't believe it. I even cried this morning at work while I was trying to tell my supervisor about the interesting things I have experienced since she has left to be with the Lord. It's amazing how true that song "you find out who your friends are" really is. I can say, there was less than a handful of people that found time in their day everyday to check on myself and Derek during our hard time. It in some ways makes me angry, but in other ways makes me realize maybe I shouldn't be so concerned with others. People I thought would never dessert myself and my husband in a time like that, did. It's heartbreaking. I don't ever do things for others to get something out if it, except for the pure joy of knowing I helped someone, I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. I just wish I could realize that not everyone is considerate and not let these feelings get to me.

Christmas was tough. I was fine until certain things would just make me realize she isn't coming back. At all. I was at my husband's cousins house, and I was in the kitchen and just had the thought cross my mind...mema won't be there today. It sucked. BIG TIME. She was my grandma also. My grandparents live in St.Louis, so Derek's grandparents living here, 20 min away is awesome. Ive had only one restless night since Mema's been gone and that was lastnight. I kept having dreams of her. I can't remember what they were, but I know I was dreaming about her. We also had a bird fly into our house and not leave easily, then after my husband got it out,it stuck around outside and then when I went outside last Thursday, it was back. I think it's mema being nosy about what we are doing. The day she died, I went to the master bathroom and was washing my hands, well, I noticed this angel necklace she gave me two years ago was hanging right where I keep it, but it was tipped over, so I said c'mon mema, stand straight up and I straightened it up and right then I felt all of the hair on my body stand up. I know she was there, it probably makes me sound like a crazy person, but I truly believe she is with my husband and I, maybe not constantly, so she can check on her other family members, but I feel like she is with us. Well, I guess that is all for today. I need to get back to work...only 3.5 days this week,but it stil feels like a very long week. Happy New Year everyone!