anger...

I'm so angry right now about so many things. I'm angry that mema isn't here, I'm angry at a person that seems to have just brushed me to the side. I'm angry at the "close" friends of mine, that didn't even bother to check on us little to not at all. Please don't think I believe everyones life should be consumed by what has happened to myself and Derek, but you never realize how alone you are when you need your "good" friends the most. I can't believe how much of my feelings are influenced by others actions. Its something I have to work on, but right now, it really, really stinks. I know this is the second time I have written about this, but I feel so alone. I had 3 girlfriends check on me. 1 is my boss, 1 is someone who is such a great friend to me and her husband to Derek and another is the wife of dereks best friend from h.s....I am just amazed. AMAZED as to how some people get so caught up in their life, they can't check on a friend. It really hurt. But maybe in a way GOD is trying to tell me I need to change my view of thinking and feeling. I can never stay angry and even as I write this, its turning out to be more hurt than anger.I better end this now...i need to get some sleep. Talk to you guys later.