Breaking point

Ok so this has been not the greatest of years....for the past 6 months without going into detail, my husband and I have hit a financial snag....so, my mom as awesome as she is, agreed to help by letting my use her credit card for emergencies, well I consider groceries an emergency, and since I can't completely 100% budget our money as in the past, it's a daily challenge...ugh, so anyways, she apparently does not see it this way, I have ran up her credit card bill in 6 months to over 1,000$, yes, I know this is alot of money, however my mother is very aware of our situation, and if I had the money, I obviously wouldn't use her money for groceries or medicine, I would use my own, and if I could, I would pay her back, but that's a moo point when she gets angry. So she's learned to text message, which I must say is alot better then a phone call with her screaming at me, it's just a text with several curse words capitalized. So she says she's tired of all of this and tired of paying off my school bills....um what? Where the hell did that come from? Who volunteered to pay for school and is now throwing it in my face...I have no idea why she does this crap. I am sooooooooooooooooooo sick of fighting with her. I am not a good daughter in her eyes and have no business having a child because we cannot afford it, well, true as that may be, I have a pretty good feeling, if I am blessed with a child, I will find a way to afford it, that's at least a year down the road and I cannot even focus on that right now. My mother and I are supposed to go see Legally Blonde on Aug 7th, with another mother/daughter friend of mine and my mom's, I WAS so excited about this, now, I am considering telling her I have to work late and maybe she should consider taking Michele(my sister in law) or maybe one of my nieces or maybe she can take her friend Amanda from work she is always telling me pregnancy stories about...hmmm there are so many other options for her besides her obvious ungrateful daughter. Im sure the Legally Blonde ticket being bought for me will also be thrown in my face, because well she did purchase it for me and since she is so sick of this s***...hmm well I am to, I have never ever ever done anything without thinking about how my mom would feel and I am 26 years old, there is a problem with that. So from now on, if she has a problem with me, I feel she can adress me like the adult I am......and then there is my dad......I cannot tell you how up and down I am with this man, it's like the KING OF BIPOLAR....one minute we are talking and having a good time, the next minute I am being lectured about not returning a beatles cd to my mom, which Im pretty sure I never borrowed, but not according to the king of right, I have it and have lost it, amazing, I could find the other one, but somehow the 2nd one was just misplaced...whatever. Not only the Beatles thing, but I have learned I cannot trust him, he told me on fathers day he would take me to a Rangers vs. Red Sox game, I heart the red sox almost as much as I heart the Cards, but the Cards are my favorite, anywho, so the last time my dad has done anything with just me on my own, I think i was 8. almost 20 years ago. I have always wanted to be close to my dad, because as weird as he is, I still love him and he's my dad, but that is where the mistake comes in, I let him into my heart, because he is my dad after all, and he just smashed it into pieces. I know it's just a baseball game, but it meant alot he wanted to take me.....so because I jumped ahead and told you the ending, lemme tell you why I am not going to the rangers game....apparently my father says he is broke because my parents are going to Mexico in October and my mom wants to go to Paul McCartney when he comes to town, which I am sure the tickets won't be cheap. When my dad says he's broke, I wish I was as broke as him. He has plenty of money to do all 3 of these things, but I guess once again I get knocked down the priority list and just have to take it. So I am just going to focus on my life and my job and having a baby. I need to get stuff straightened out in my life and I don't have room for people that treat me any less of the person I am, even if it is my own parents. Phew...that was alot....so onto the next drama in my life, having a baby. Derek and I go to the same doctor my brother and his wife went to when they couldn't have a baby, on August 4th. I am so nervous, I just want one baby, just one, I know, I know my time will come, but it's so hard to want something so badly and I just can't control it. It's also hard to get messages from friend after friend after friend..."im pregnant" yay...so good for you....There are a couple of people in my life that I would love nothing more than to hear that they are prego, and they know who they are. So that's it, thats my drama, I am hoping things get better...we shall see.